My Theory of the Male Cycle : First Public Airing

If you ask any male of the human species who happens to be in a long term relationship with a female of the species, he will be able to tell you that his mate goes through a regular and predictable series of body changes and mood swings depending on the time of month.  For some women these swings are mild, for others, wild.  

I have know women who, like clockwork, have an easy month followed by a manic one.  I have known some who get a zit in the same place every single cycle.  I've seen it all, elation, depression, swollen parts, dry patches, hot flashes, and cold stares.  I've even helped a few ladies through menopause.

We have come to expect, and respect, the fact that a woman's body is an extremely fine tuned organic wave pattern.  There's a consensus that a female is simply more physically and emotionally complicated than a man, which I mostly agree with.

But I wanted to write about how men actually operate in their own mysterious cycle.  This is a fact that most couples overlook and which causes a lot of unnecessary strife in relationships.  

Most of this is based on my own experience keeping track of subtle changes in my mind/body condition during the years of yoga and meditation.  But once I lay out my theory to other guys they seem to recognize similar patterns in their own lives, once they know what to look for.

So, here's what I've figured out so far:

• The male cycle lasts about 3 months.  Whether this has anything to do with the seasons has yet to be determined but that would make sense.
  

• It is characterized not so much by changes in mood, but by fluctuations in motivation and energy levels.
  

• The cycle is defined by two polarities:
  

1. The high point, in which a guy is eager to work, has a creative boost, and feels more positive and in control about the direction of his life.  A lot of things will finally get done in this 1-2 week period.
   
2. And the low point, the male becomes more introverted.  It can be hard to muster excitement for even fun activities.  At this time the male will question his choices and motivations.  He will tend to stick to his dwelling or usual hangouts.  There will also be a strong need for solitude or solo activities.

• There is a similar arc in the sexuality of the male, although libido runs along a smaller series of cycles that are harmonious with this 3 month cycle.  (I.e, the guy will feel keen sexual desire at both the highest and lowest points of this cycle.  During the inbetween times the desire for sex will diminish.)
  

• When the cycle is at odds with life events, the shadow-side of the high and low points will arise. In practice this means that motivation can become aggression, and quiet solitude depression.
  

So, how can we use this information to make our lives run more smoothly?

First, guys need to start paying attention and identify where they are in their own cycle.  This can be established pretty easily once you're on the look out for it.  Once you've got a handle on this, start doing what I call "surfing the wave".

If you've ever tried real surfing, you'll know that you can't catch every wave.  Sometimes you're in the wrong spot, and no amount of paddling is going to get your board where it needs to be. So you just let the wave wash under you, and keep your eyes open for one that will be in the right place at the right time.

So, for example, you have a new project that you want to take on.  Think about your timing and try to align the time that the project will require a big push with the 1-2 week high point of your cycle.  Similarly, if there is a lot of grunt work to be done at some point, that is an ideal kind of activity for the trough of the wave, when it's hard to be creative and visionary.

And moms, friends, spouses, and sisters, you too need to tune in to the male wave pattern.  Knowing that a guy is entering his low weeks, beware that it will be tough to get him to do much, but that it's not forever.  In a few weeks he'll be back to his old self and in a few more weeks he'll be your ideal man again.  Of course, that's only for a brief time too!

I've labeled this cycle with "high and low points", which isn't the best phrasing because it makes one sound desirable over the other.  In fact, like any wave pattern, the peak wouldn't exist without the trough.  The low point of the cycle is in fact when the seeds of creativity and problem solving are sown.

Naturally I've got a lot to say about this but I'll stop here for now.  Try to investigate these things for yourselves and get back to me with correlating or contrary evidence!

And guys, don't sell yourselves short.  In your own way, you have just as many deep unexplored aspects of yourselves as your female counterparts.  Learn to work with these subtle forces rather than fight against them.